do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Four minutes until I can fart!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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