Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
