guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
