How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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