Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just google imaged poop.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
