Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
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His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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