some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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