wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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