so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
