You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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