I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
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i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
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I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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