We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
