woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
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I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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