if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
