I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
