i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize