A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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