Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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