if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
