...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
