Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Acid is not a monday night drug
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
