I love you!
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...