I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
