If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
