Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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