See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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