Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You ate ashes out of my bong
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
