is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Randomize
