so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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