you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
