what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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