Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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