need another drink. this is the easiest way
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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