Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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