I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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