how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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