Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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