She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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