its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
