my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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