I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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