i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
