I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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