if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
