After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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