Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We're too hungover to prance.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize