I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
