she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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