We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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