Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize