yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
