Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
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