i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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