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ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
