I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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