she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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