Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
