My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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