I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
