Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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