this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
