There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
