Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
